If you’re a mom and you’ve heard the saying “sleep when the baby sleeps” raise your hand. 

Pretty sure every mom every where has their hand up right now. 

We all remember those newborn days and the unsolicited advice.  I mean it sounds like such a practical saying. Clearly if I want sleep then I should sleep when my baby is sleep. Then we’re both well rested for the busy day ahead of us, and honestly, it is a practical saying and one that works great! I mean considering you have a house keeper, chef and nanny at your disposal. 

We all know I never followed the usual pattern when it came to sleep and my baby boy.  I think one of the hardest things for people to understand is the “to- do list” of a stay at home mom. So here’s a shortened version for you:

  • childcare
  • laundry
  • cooking
  • cleaning

Sounds simple right ? Here’s just a little longer version for you:

  • childcare (I won’t even begin to list all the things that go into taking care of a kid)
         •of just one child if you’re lucky
         •of 3+ if you’re not (joking of course)
  • laundry
          •for the one child if you’re lucky
          •for the 3+ if you’re not 
          •for mom
          •for dad
          •for the house (I.e. sheets, towels)
  • cooking
          •breakfast, lunch and dinner for the one child if you’re lucky
          • breakfast, lunch and dinner for the 3+ children if you’re not (I think you’ve got the whole lucky and unlucky thing right? Again totally a joke)
           • breakfast, lunch and dinner for mom
           •breakfast, lunch and dinner for dad
            •food for the dog

  • cleaning
        •1 kid
        •3+ kids
        •the dog
        •the kitchen
        •the living room
        •family room
        •at this point, every room 
I’m so tired writing out all these tasks that I’m just going to stop there because I’m going to assume you got the picture. In short, there is no rest for the weary. And just to be clear, mama is the weary one. 

These lists make it impossible to sleep when the baby sleeps. I mean it’s not like the list of everything else is sleeping then too!

Good we’ve discussed the to-do list now can we discuss the other list? The one that involves the things I’d like to do without having a baby hanging on my boob or crawling in my lap? Here it is:

  • drink some wine
  • read a book
  • watch an adult show that maybe has cursing or crude humor in it
  • eat a meal by myself
  • drink some wine (yea, I said it twice for a reason, if you’re a mama you just get it) 

And yes, that list can go on and on too. 

The thinking process of only going to sleep when the baby sleeps robs you of valuable time. Now it’s not to say I never sleep when the baby sleeps. In the beginning that was all I did! Then after 3 weeks of laundry piling up to basically becoming the other person in the bed with me, I decided some things had to change. 

There are so many times in society that mothers are looked down upon for “making the wrong choice”. If me choosing to use my baby’s nap time to do something valuable for me is “the wrong choice”, then so be it, I’ll be wrong. But I tell you what, I’ll be wrong with a full self- love tank. 

Take care of you too mama,
Aysia B.