I have read so many places that “being a mother doesn’t define who you are”. And that is true — to some extent. You should very well still have your own likes and dislikes. You should still be able to occasionally take your own shower. And you should most definitely have a favorite song that’s not called baby shark. But to go as far as to say that one must have other words to describe themselves, other than “mother”, is an insult to me.
Mother (noun): a woman in relation to her child or children; a female animal in relation to her offspring; give birth to.
Let’s be honest, that Webster’s dictionary version doesn’t even come close to the meaning of the word.
Now, here is my definition…
Mother: my child’s entire world. maturity. strength. compassionate.
See, when I use the word mother to describe myself, it’s not just me talking about the fact that I birthed a child. Or the fact that I have a tiny human depending on my survival. I am talking about a period of my life that literally slapped me in the face, sat me down and made me reevaluate my entire being.
Before becoming a mother, I thought I was sure of who I was. I knew I was a smart, strong-willed young lady that liked to read and write. I knew I found my passion in nursing and it was a career I’d be happily living my days out doing. I knew I found the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and no matter what incidences occurred between us, all could be fixed. I thought I had life figured out. Then I got pregnant. At first nothing changed, I was still all those things listed above and felt sure of all that my life was. I was about to become a mother and keep those same principles listed above at the forefront of my life, so all would be great.
Then Tate took his first breath, and my entire world hit a 360.
From the battling of emotions through a terrible break up… to having been out of work for, then, over a year… to relocating… to finding myself back at my parent’s house and on top of that having a little life depending on me; it was rough. But this year of my life defines who I am to this day.
I became a mother.
I became stronger than I was ever aware I was capable of.
I became wiser to the mistakes I’d made in the past and the ones I refused to ever let repeat themselves again.
I became a warrior, against all things meant to break me.
I became; ME, and this changed everything.
See, becoming a mother was my wake up call. It was the situation I needed that helped pull me back from my own self-destruction.
In learning all of these new things about myself, I also learned how over the years I overlooked my self care. The little things I once took for granted, I realized I needed now more than ever. And you know what? I did them.
I can remember my mother saying “most people have a baby and it slows them down but not you.” And she was right. I was determined to keep the things that I found valuable close. Traveling, nail salons, hair appointments, hanging with friends, etc. As mothers, we sometimes only think of big vacations such as Hawaii or cruises, but often forget the little ones, like Target. Let’s be honest, a solo trip there is the true vacation spot anyways. And that is why this blog has evolved.
Just like I evolved once I became a mother, the things around me had to evolve, as well. My relationships, friendships, jobs and now this blog. If you’ve been following along since the beginning — you know Between the Gold was about trying to stay true to myself and my wants while following the crazy ever-changing football life. Though this was such a great start to this blog, that was clearly nowhere near the finish line.
Mothering the Mama
This blog is exactly what the name says it is. All ways to mother (or take care) of the mama.
Between soccer practices, dance lessons, diaper changes or feeding schedules — we forget all the things we need. This idea of forgetting yourself while in motherhood is the reason the stigma “you have to be something else other than a mama” came about. But I want to change that stigma. Using this blog, I want to show how you can still be at every one of your child’s functions, cater to the needs of everyone in your household and at the end of the day, rest your head knowing you did just one thing for yourself within this busy day.
I want to redefine the term “mother” and make it one that screams nurturer and conqueror. One that stands firmly on “yes, I take care of my household AND I take care of me!”
Take care of you too mama,