So if signed up for this past weeks email course you will be introduced to this weeks guest poster soon enough. But in the mean time I introduce to you Angela King. She is a mindfulness coach that believes in using the power of the mind to create the life of your dreams! And today she brings to you a little detail about something we all struggle with in the world- impatience. I have it and I’m sure you have it. So before I go on anymore with the things that drive me crazy (grrr) I will let her take over now:
Today’s world is all about efficiency, and how to make things work faster. There have been some incredible achievements because of this effort. We have access to the entirety of human knowledge literally at our fingertips, and almost any material item you could need or want will arrive at your doorstep with the click of a button.
As wonderful as all these advancements are, they also enable us to succumb to our greed and impatience. No matter how fast the internet speeds are, the first time a window takes an extra moment longer to load, we automatically groan with frustration. We expect deliveries to arrive within two days, and we become upset if they don’t. But where does this sense of urgency come from?
Well, much like any other human behavior, it’s a cycle. We’re constantly raising our expectations of each other, and of ourselves. Our bosses and teachers and families often place these expectations on us, and then we internalize them. From there, we develop a strong need to please others in the way we act and dress.
For example, when you are running late for work, doesn’t it seem like everything takes longer than usual and makes you later and later? And doesn’t it always happen that you forget or misplace or spill things and are made even later? How frustrating to be trying so hard to meet expectations, even ones that seem so simple like being on time, and still missing the mark.
Here’s the bottom line. Meeting someone else’s expectations of you will never give you peace of mind. No matter how many times you make it to work on time and remember everything you’re “supposed to,” and say the right things, you’ll always have to question whether that other person approves of you. For many of us, it becomes so ingrained that we aren’t even aware that we’ve been trying to fit someone else’s mold. We claim to have high expectations of ourselves, but the expectation itself is the problem. With an expectation comes a clear line between passing or failing. That creates a distinction between what we feel we are allowed to be and what we aren’t.
The way we let go of these expectations is by mindfully taking a step back and recognizing that we have them. Knowing that we can choose to keep our expectations or let them go allows us to dissociate from the outcome. By removing ourselves from the equation, we also remove the urgency of trying to please others. If you aren’t focused on pleasing your boss, your brain has much more space to actually do your work, and be inventive.
When we remove expectations from any situation, we get to choose how we spend our time. Living purposefully does not come with any external requirements. It’s a matter of perspective and how you view each thing you do.
You get to decide what is important to you, and you can change your mind at any point. Use that as a tool to remove the expectations from your life, and then there will never be a finish line to cross, or a box to check when you’ve met the day’s quota. You’ll be able to decide how to live out your purpose each day, regardless of what you think others expect from you.