Since Tate has been born I’ve been sharing my thoughts and feelings on the blog. Pretty much like I do with everything else I think and feel. Nothing too deep (besides his birth story) just random thoughts that come to my mind . I’ve received an outpour of love and comments on the posts and social media shares. But what gets me isn’t the generic “I’m so happy for you” or “He’s so cute” comments, it’s the other ones. The ones that tell me “oh girl ignore those feelings, enjoy that baby”. Okay people don’t literally say that in the comments but that’s what it feels like doesn’t it? As a new mom if you talk about any emotion other than happy, love, or joy for your new bundle you get what can feel like a verbal lashing from the community or family members.
I’m not saying this to shame anyone that has commented or said anything under my posts. Trust me I appreciate the adult interaction at a bare minimum. I’m just calling to light what I see. Plus it’s not your fault. We as a society are taught that when you have a baby it should be one of the happiest moments of your life. And I mean honestly it is! A snuggly baby with all the newborn smells. But with those joyous moments come a fair share of struggles! As a new mom sometimes you feel you are up to your ears in poop, laundry and emotions and all you want to do is scream out loud; not to anyone in particular or heck maybe to everyone! But the simple fact of having the feelings roll off your tongue and into the air seems to release some of the emotions. So when you do finally get the courage to say the words out loud the last thing you need is someone counteracting those emotions with “oh but just the baby”.
Now don’t get me wrong I love my son. I mean you’ve seen him he’s like the cutest baby ever. And he’s good too. He eats like a champ, doesn’t cry a lot, and sometimes sleeps in his own sleeper through the night (okay saying sometimes is a stretch). But heck unless he can somehow take care of himself after 5 weeks he comes with struggles as well. And instead of someone saying something about “the baby” it’d be nice to hear… I understand. It’d be nice to have someone comment that they felt that way too when their baby was just weeks old.
Just like any other tough situation support goes a long way. Now I could care less what is said in my comments. Trust, I’m going to continue to post whatever I feel whenever I want. And the comments about little Tot don’t discourage me or make me personally feel attacked at all. But seeing those comments make me think about the women who don’t have such tough skin. This is how postpartum depression starts and gets ignored. Let’s not do that to these women anymore. Today take the time to comment on a mommy post and instead of saying something telling her to regard the sweet baby, instead comment and say “yesss girl… me too”.