Happy Love Day everyone!!

If you won’t hear it from anyone else today I want to tell you, I LOVE YOU.

Now, let’s talk about how to up the self love this year.

Over the years V- Day has become this really over the top, commercial holiday where stores up their red and pink decor in hopes to sell products to people looking to spoil each other.

But if I asked you to pause and think about the last time you used V-Day to spoil yourself too, how long would it take you to come up with an answer.

The reality is, we are conditioned to think of love as a feeling that exists only between two people.

Whether it’s friendship or intimate, love is typically talked about as a transactional thing between two people.

But as I always like to do, let’s go to the official definition.

Google defines love as an intense feeling of deep affection.

Now I’m not sure about you, but I absolutely have a deep feeling of affection for myself.

But the reality is do I show myself this feeling of affection?

Heck, do I show it to myself every day let alone one day out of the year?

If you’re like the majority of us people in the world, then your answer is probably no.

But I think we can change that.

Here are 5 ways simple ways to up the self love this Valentine’s Day:

1.Learn Yourself.

Do you really know yourself? Like honestly and truly know the desires of your heart, your goals, wishes and aspirations? Oftentimes we do a vision board at the beginning of the year and think that’s enough to say we know what we want, but the reality is did you check in with yourself for this vision board or did you just pick pretty pictures? Vision boards should start with your attitudes and plans.Once you do this simple step first, then you can know what you really want. And then, you can get further into step two.

Shameless plug here, if you haven’t yet created your vision board join me 2/25 as we create attitudes, vision boards and take part in some dance aerobics!

2.Prioritize yourself.

Now this may sound like a “duh” moment, but if I asked you the question again of how you prioritized yourself this week, many of us will probably have a blank look on our faces.

Because the reality is, humans want to be liked. And a simple way to achieve that is by doing what other people want to do. And while this form of people pleasing definitely will win you plenty likes and friend requests on Instagram, it probably won’t give you many opportunities to put yourself first. So, a simple way to up the self love this valentine’s day, is by putting you first and doing the things that are important to you, before giving others their desires.

3.Enjoy Yourself.

Once you begin prioritizing yourself, then enjoying your own company will come naturally. I mean the more time you spend you should realize just how cool you are. But, here’s the neat thing if you don’t then you know exactly what to fix and how to fix it. I mean if you don’t like spending time with yourself how do you expect anybody else to do it? Plus, at the end of the day when you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning it’s all within self, you should like the person you spend the most time with.

4.Treat Yourself.

Alright maybe this ones mostly for me, but the times when I really feel heard, appreciated and loved by myself is when I do the things I like. Going to get my nails done, buying myself my favorite lunch or dinner, etc. Think about how you show affection to others (there goes that google definition again). If you were going to show a boyfriend or friend how you loved them, you’d probably begin to give them gifts or treats that they enjoyed. So why should how you show affection to yourself be any different. This point leads me into number 5, which might be the most important point of all.

5. Love Yourself.

Yes, of course I mean just you know have self love, but do you know what I means to love yourself? Do you know how you like to beloved? And not just by someone else, but by yourself. This point maybe could have went with point one but I felt it was so important it had to go by itself.

One of the biggest mistakes I think ever made in past relationships was loving a person the way I thought they needed to be loved. But when I started my now relationship I had us both take the 5 love languages test, because it was important that I loved him how he wanted. So I ask you again, do you know how to love yourself? The 5 love languages doesn’t just have to be used on couples, it can also be used on yourself. And just because you like others to love you a certain way, doesn’t mean that’s the love you like to receive from yourself. So I encourage you to take the quiz for yourself!

Now none of this is to say you should not be in a relationship today or appreciate the people you’re with. But instead, that the love you give everyone else, you should also be able to give yourself.

Take care of you too,

Aysia B.