Breastfeeding was the easiest part of my motherhood journey.
I know I know hate me now.
But in all honesty it was. And unfortunately weaning Tate from breast feeding… an easier part of motherhood for me.
I get it you hate me.
But this also makes me feel I’m super credible to give some good tips on how to deal with the added stress on a mama don’t you think? Let’s keep chatting and find out what you think.
If you’ve kept up with my breastfeeding journey then you know all about why I chose to breastfeed, how I took care of myself while breastfeeding, tips on breastfeeding, and more. But what I haven’t talked a lot about is how I ended my breastfeeding journey with Tater Tot. I think mostly because it wasn’t my choice.
I was forced to stop breastfeeding.
Not forced by anyone in particular but more so by my situation.
There a lot of struggles that come from split parent households; time apart, different upbringings, financial dilemmas and more. But what a lot of moms don’t talk about is how separation affects their choices and decisions as a mother.
When I first started my breastfeeding journey I said if all things went well I would probably breastfeed Tate until he was about 1 years old. But as we got further into our journey I loved it, he loved it and it worked for us; I changed the ending age to two. Then me and his dad split and the decision was made for me.
By the time Tate was 1 years old he was spending extended periods with his dad while I was either traveling or working. He would go with his dad for even up to 7 days some times with no nursing or breastmilk (Tate was very much not a bottle kid) and then come back to me to “comfort feed” aka just use my nipple as a pacifier. After our last 9 day stretch apart I decided things had to change.
I knew it was no longer beneficial for either of us for things to continue the way they were. And it was so very hard emotionally more than physically for me to stop.
Not because Tate was crying and I was losing my stuff, though he was and so was I. Not because it hurt me to see Tate cry, though it did. But because I felt like a failure. I felt like I had made a goal for myself and due to unfortunate circumstances I was letting it change what I wanted.
So I did what I know best and “self cared it up”. Here’s my top 5 tips on how to deal with mom guilt during your breastfed weaning journey.
- Think it through. Before anything else, think it through. Before you can work on actually weaning your baby you have to come to the decision to do so. And coming to that decision does not happen lightly. Make sure, like I did, you make the decision that is best for all parties. Once you make an informed decision it will be so much easier to stick with it.
- Accountability partner. Trust me mamas when the going gets tough you are definitely going to want to throw in the towel. It’s the easiest thing to do! But you need that person who you can call or sit down and talk to and say today was hard I want to quit and they can remind you exactly why you’re beginning this journey. This person can be your partner, best friend, person in your mama tribe whoever. Just do like Cristina and Meredith and find your person.
- Schedule your self care intentionally. When you’re in the midst of the chaos of weaning your baby from breastfeeding you are NOT going to be thinking about yourself. Your mind will be succumbed to thinking of your crying baby, your crying self and your hardening boobs. Schedule your self care ahead of time. The week before you start schedule at least TWO self care activities during the week. I.e. manicure on Tuesday and drinks with friends on Friday. Trust me this little break will be your saving grace during this time. If you’re an east coast mama and you’re looking for your scheduled self care for your weaning week sign up for the #MommySpaandSocial ! Read more about it here.
As a mama we make the toughest decisions for ourselves, our kiddos, our families and more. That saying “we are the rock of the family” shouldn’t be taken for granted. But it doesn’t mean you have to endure hardships with no plan to ease the pain. Mothering the mama means just that. Through the pain, madness, tears, struggles, etc you still find ways to…
Take care of you too mama,
P.S. I know breastfeeding can be tough on your personal views of your body. Grab my affirmation based booklet that helps you fall back in love with your post-baby body!